I Remember (For the First Time)
by 0WolfMoon0
Summary: Luna has seen a lot in her short life thus far. At only 11, she can even see thestrals. Just who will pick up on this before she even sets foot in Hogwarts? Written for the "First Time Challenge" on the HPFC forum. Rated T b/c the first one gets a little depressing for children


**I Remember**

**This is a story written for the "First Time" challenge on the HPFC forum. **

My father always told me that mother had to go to heaven that day. It was only two years ago. She was showing me a new tracking spell she had invented. We were going to find the Crumple Horned Snorkacks, her and me and father, and she had found the way.

I remember exactly what happened. Father didn't want to remove the memory from me. He always says that our memory is precious. But I wish he did. I wish he took that memory from my mind so I would never have to relive it again. Two years. Two years without mother.

You never think of the dead as truly gone. But they are. And you wake up to tell your mother that the gnomes are tapping at your window in the morning, but you can't. All it was, of all things, was a tracking spell.

How can something be as fragile as a life? One minute you're here, and the next, you're gone. In an instant, everything changes. Mother was just showing me her tracking spell, nothing dangerous.

But magic is dangerous. Because when she showed me that spell, she hadn't worked out all the kinks yet. In my mind, she was invincible, but in reality, she was breakable. The minute she cast, she turned white as a sheet and suddenly couldn't breathe. I was standing right beside her. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.

I remember speaking, asking over and over again, "Mama what's wrong?"

She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even hold her wand, and it fell to the ground. Her sky blue eyes stared at me, and my mother was afraid. My indestructible mother was turning blue in the face and fell to the ground. I was nine. An agonizing minute and a half later, calling for my mama to answer me, and she stopped moving.

Mama's chest had stopped moving, her heart stopped beating, and her eyes had glassed over. Grey skin, glassy eyes, not breathing.

I remember… laying over her and crying because, at nine, every child knows what that means. Papa came out after a few minutes and saw me and Mama. He carried me into the house and sent our owl to someone. I never asked who.

That was when he told me that Mama was in heaven. That I couldn't see her anymore. That she loved me very much. On that day, I learned what it was to be afraid.

I think about her daily, especially now as I'm getting off the Hogwarts Express. All of the older students are heading toward some carriages. I overheard some boy from Ravenclaw talking to his friend as they made their way over.

"I do wonder what magic they use to make the wagons pull themselves each year," he said.

But, they weren't pulled by nothing. I didn't know whether or not to correct him. I walked up to one of the carriages, I didn't know where else to go, and I put my hand on the beautiful horse. Then I noticed its wings, and it certainly didn't feel like a horse. The other students were looking at me like I was crazy. I didn't know they would call me Loony at the time.

"Look at the crazy first year," whispered a student from a nearby carriage. "What on earth does she think she is doing?"

"I don't know, but I hope she isn't in Hugglepuff," replied another student. I overheard their every word. But maybe I was. Nobody else could see the winged horses. They were majestic, beautiful, and gentle.

"Don't worry," said a woman who floated up beside me. She was a ghost. I had heard Hogwarts had ghosts, but I didn't think they went to the platform. "I see them too. For someone so young to see the thestrals, I do wonder what you have seen in your life. Very few see them at all in their time here."

The thestrals were the horses pulling the carriages, I could tell by the way she spoke of them. The ghost turned to me. "I do hope you'll be sorted into my mother's house," she said to me. I never talked much, just thought, but I felt the want to speak to the ghost-woman.

"Why can't the others see the thestrals?" I asked.

"Seriously misunderstood creatures, thestrals are," the ghost woman said. She placed her hand upon the being next to mine. I don't know if she could touch it or not, but I liked seeing her hand next to mine on the inky black skin of the creature. "Only those who have seen death can see them."

"Miss ghost," I said. "My mother went to heaven, but that doesn't mean she's dead, does it?"

"Call me Helena, daughter of Pandora. I'm sorry to hear of her passing. Heaven is where the happy and content spirits go. Your mother was a lucky one to have gotten there."

"Oh."

"You head along to the boats, dear," Helena told me. "First years do not ride the carriages."

I nodded and began to walk away. I remember… Helena stopped me for a moment.

"I have not spoken to a student in a very long time, daughter of Pandora. But your mother always spoke to me. Even though I did not respond, she spoke to me. Therefore, I sought for you. Your mother would be proud."

"Thank you," I replied simply, turning once again only to be stopped.

"And, daughter of Pandora, I do hope you seek me out as well. Even if not sorted into Ravenclaw, I wish to know the girl who could see the thestrals."

I remember I said to Helena that I would. When I was sorted later into Ravenclaw, she was watching from the rafters. She was watching me, and I didn't mind.

I remember that all my years at Hogwarts, Helena talked to no one but me. Most ignored her entirely. But not me. Because Helena could see the thestrals too. She showed me I was not alone.


End file.
